Sir or Madam:
your inquiry re: January 10th invoice, asking who
in the marketing department placed the order.
I feel that answering “someone named Bob” might expedite the
payment, I must be frank: no one ordered anything. I am pleased
to see, however, that an invoice charging you ten dollars
for product placement in a novel did not strike you as unthinkable.
should it. Just last year Fay Weldon’s The Bulgari Connection
came out with HarperCollins and Grove press. Commissioned
by the jewellery company for an undisclosed sum, the established
Weldon was required to mention the brand twelve times. Unlike
magazines with their almost infinite capacity for advertisements,
the book has been ad-resistant for years. Why not take a page
(so to speak) from equally ad-resistant movies?
your company has a special place in history on this, doesn’t
it? Although the script of E.T. called for M&M’s,
M&M turned down the offer, and Reese’s Pieces subsequent
involvement shot sales through the roof. It wasn’t the first
product placement in a movie, but it certainly popularized
that’s ancient history. What does the year 2036 hold for Hershey’s?
Let’s look at page 126 of my futuristic novel, Everyone
glowered at him. Nicky looked from one to the other, remembered
their secrecy in the train yard. “You guys, man,” she sneered,
“spy versus spy.” She went into the kitchen, her stomach having
ordered her into forage mode. She knew there was nothing in
the fridge, so she looked through the cupboard and found a
package of Reese’s Oreos. She brought them back to the living
room. Andre declined, but Simon dipped his dirty hand in,
licking his lips.
aren’t you licking your lips now, Sir or Madam? Not only will
there be a tantalizing merger between your company and Nabisco,
but you’ve come out on top – it isn’t Oreo’s Pieces, after
it might be in the American edition, if you fail to remit
you won’t M&M it,
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