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I heard Souvankham Thammavongsa speak at an Alternative Publishing Workshop at the University of Toronto that I was also speaking at, and her speech blew me away. Despite our vastly different backgrounds, I found myself relating to and inspired by her candid and personal account of how she came to self-publish. Instead of an interview, I asked her for the notes of that speech. One of the things people assume about publishing something yourself is that you didn't have a choice, that you couldn't get published by someone else. But this wasn't the case for me. I was unhappy with what was out there. I didn't want to lose the intimacy and the closeness that comes from making my own books. There were no deadlines to meet a launch date, no pressures from editors. But more importantly, it was about getting my name right. I've been told by editors that my name was too long, did I have an "English" version of it? Having been born in a refugee camp I was not given a birth certificate. Because of this, my name in print was proof that I existed and to be asked to change it or delete some of its letters to fit the format of the page was not something I was going to allow to happen. You don't have to be rich to be publishing your own work--or at least, don't expect it to happen. When I was younger my parents didn't know how to read or write English. We couldn't afford ballet lessons or music lessons but what I had were words. If I was going to know anything about rhythm and sound it was going to be done with words. And I was going to go at it alone. I grew up without any books in our home. There were newspapers but they were laid out on the floor to soak up our winter boots or wrap fish or chicken bones left over from the night's dinner. I wrote my first book when I was seven years old. It had three pages and was a love note for a boy who sat next to me. He showed it to the teacher and I got into trouble (apparently you're not supposed to be doing that with your crayons). I knew then that if I was ever scared of saying what I felt and about being honest then maybe this wasn't for me. And I knew then that it was going to be something I was going to do alone. It's great to have a support system like friend and family but in the end you have to realize that you are the one who has to go up there and bear it alone. At the end of the night, when the lights go off, and your support goes home--you have to stand there and be there for yourself. You'll find it's easier to defend other people, but when it comes to yourself it's a lot harder. Doing it yourself is not easy. First of all, you have to be your own fan. If you don't like what you write then you can't expect it to matter to someone out there. You've got to be your own advertisement department, your own distribution department, your own mailing department, your own public relations department, your own art department, your own accountant...you've got to be your own research department--see what people like and why they like it and you've got to keep it fresh because people get bored easily. But don't do it just to impress people. Do it for yourself first, you are your harshes critic so if you can get work past yourself it will eventually find its audience. Also, go and check out how the experts like Governor General's award winners do it. It's one thing to be able to write a good piece, another to be able to read it well. If you're just going to go up there and read it--just remember that anyone could do that. You'll find that having a published book doesn't measure how great a writer you are. There's a lot of crap out there that's being published. I think some of the best writers aren't even published because they are too busy saving the world, driving taxis, or selling hot dogs on the street. It's one thing to have the talent to write and another to have the chance to share it. And of course, it's one thing to talk about talent and another to back it up. [Read poems] the ground has seen fruit and flower this far from ground proving you hold
---------- (Psst! We're continuing the discussion on women publishing books over here.) |
